If you’re planning to build a custom home, you’re probably already feeling it… that mix of excitement and “oh-my-gosh-there-are-so-many-decisions” anxiety before you build your home.
Let me reassure you …
You’re not behind.
You’re not doing it wrong.
And you don’t need to have all the answers yet.
But before you dive into floor plans, Pinterest boards, or builder meetings, let’s take a breath.
The truth is, what you need first isn’t a checklist—it’s some simple mindset shifts.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
👉 Overwhelmed and unsure where to start with your home build? Learn my exact 4-step framework to build your dream home—on budget and without regrets—in this free class. 👈
Below is the full transcript for this podcast episode.
Welcome back to the Before You Build podcast. I’m your host Carrie Barker (aka Caroline On Design), and today in episode 82, we’re talking about three mindset shifts to make before you build your home.
3 Mindset Shifts Before You Build Your Home
These three foundational shifts will set the tone for your entire experience and help you build a home that feels like you—without the stress, second-guessing, or “I wish we had thought of that” moments later.
1. You’re Not Just Building a House—You’re Building a Lifestyle
This is one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make. Your custom home isn’t just about square footage or curb appeal—it’s about designing a space that supports your real life every single day.
Think beyond the surface and ask yourself:
👉 What does your ideal day at home look like?
👉 What spaces do you gravitate toward?
👉 What frustrates you about your current home?
Example: Maybe you love hosting family dinners, but your current kitchen feels tight and chaotic. That tells you an open-concept layout and ample prep space are more important than, say, a formal dining room that rarely gets used.
Mindset Shift: It’s not about more space—it’s about the right space.
📌 Quick tip: Sit down with your spouse and list your top 3 frustrations in your current home. Then flip them into design goals for your future home.
2. A Smart Budget Isn’t Restrictive—It’s Empowering
Let’s talk about budgeting—not the scary, spreadsheet kind, but the kind that gives you peace of mind.
One of the biggest sources of stress for people building a home is money (more specifically, going over budget).
This doesn’t happen because they overspend intentionally.
It happens because they don’t plan proactively.
Most budget overages come from:
👉 Mid-build changes that could’ve been avoided
👉 Overspending on trendy upgrades that don’t add long-term value
👉 Underestimating how much “small” decisions add up
But when you know your numbers and your priorities before you build, you can make decisions with clarity and confidence.
This is exactly why I created the BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ program … to help you plan the right way BEFORE you ever think about breaking ground.
Example: One of my clients realized early on (i.e. before she started building) that she cared more about everyday function than decorative features. Before she even broke ground on her house, she scaled back on fancy trim and instead splurged on built-in mudroom storage—and now she says it’s her favorite part of the house.
Mindset Shift: The goal isn’t to spend less—it’s to spend wisely.
📌 Quick tip: Build in a 10–15% buffer to your total build budget. It may feel like a luxury now, but it’s a lifesaver when unexpected expenses pop up (and they will!).
3. Your Builder Isn’t the Designer of Your Life—You Are!
This one’s big! Your builder is focused on construction, not necessarily how your home flows, functions, or feels. They’re expecting you to come to the table with your vision, preferences, and priorities.
And I know—that can feel overwhelming. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You just need to be in the driver’s seat. 🚗💭
Example:
I worked with a couple who assumed their builder would help them decide on the best floor plan for their family. Instead, their builder asked, “Which layout do you want?”—and they were completely unprepared to answer.
That moment flipped a switch for them. They realized they needed to lead the process, not follow it blindly. They joined my BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ program and we worked together to map out what functionality they needed, and suddenly, the decision became much easier.
Mindset Shift: You don’t have to figure it all out alone—but you do need to lead the vision.
📌 Quick tip: Start saving images of spaces you love—but don’t just save them for style. Add a quick note: “Love how this layout opens to the backyard” or “Hidden storage in island = genius.” These clues will become the foundation for your design choices later.
What Happens If You Don’t Make These Mindset Shifts?
Let’s talk about the flip side—what happens when you skip this phase and dive straight into design or construction without these mindset shifts and a clear plan in place?
You will likely …
🚫 Choose a layout that doesn’t actually work for your family’s routine
🚫 Run into budget panic halfway through your build
🚫 End up relying too heavily on your builder to make design decisions
🚫 Move in and think, “I wish we had planned this better…”
I do NOT want ANY of this for you!
I see this happen all too often, and that’s what led me to create the BEFORE YOU BUILD BLUEPRINT℠ … it’s designed to help you avoid all of these by creating a solid plan and knowing what you want long before you dig your foundation.
Build with Confidence (Not Chaos!)
These mindset shifts are just the beginning—but they’re powerful.
When you start your home-building journey with clarity around your lifestyle, your finances, and your role in the process, everything becomes smoother, smarter, and way more enjoyable.
💛 You deserve a home that fits your life—not just the latest trends.
💛 You deserve to feel excited about your build—not anxious or unsure.
💛 And you deserve to move in and say, “We got it right.”
Want a Step-by-Step Plan to Get Started?
Grab my free Custom Home Build Start Guide—it walks you through the exact 4-step BYB BLUEPRINT℠ that I teach inside my signature BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ program.
This guide will help you go from overwhelmed to “oh yeah, we’ve got this”—before you ever break ground.
