If you’ve googled the phrase ‘custom home must-haves’, you’ve likely seen all the lists claiming that you *must* have *this* and you *must* have *that*.
These types of lists are all over Pinterest, Instagram, and home-building blogs … and they *can* be helpful.
But here’s what those lists don’t tell you … there are NO universal must-haves when building a custom home.
The ONLY must-haves that matter are YOUR family’s must-haves.
The lists you see online aren’t taking into account YOUR family’s life. So, following their must-haves is how you end up with a house that doesn’t even work for your family.
Listen to this episode or read the full transcript below.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Nervous about blowing your budget while building? Grab a seat in my FREE on-demand class, ‘The 3 Most Expensive Home Building Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them!)’.
Below is the full podcast episode transcript:
Custom Home Must-Haves (Ignore the Lists!)
Hey there, and welcome back to the Before You Build podcast! I’m your host, Carrie Barker, aka Caroline On Design, and I’m so glad you’re here today.
If you’re new to the show, I’m a home build coach who helps people plan their custom homes so they can avoid costly mistakes and design regrets. And today, we’re talking about custom home must-haves.
If you’ve googled the phrase ‘custom home must-haves’, you’ve likely seen all the lists claiming that you *must* have *this* and you *must* have *that*.
These types of lists are all over Pinterest, Instagram, and home-building blogs … and they *can* be helpful.
But here’s what those lists don’t tell you … there are NO universal must-haves when building a custom home.
The ONLY must-haves that matter are YOUR family’s must-haves.
The lists you see online aren’t taking into account YOUR family’s life. So, following their must-haves is how you end up with a house that doesn’t even work for your family.
The Problem with Generic Must-Have Lists
I see this happen often. I have clients join BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ , and they come in feeling completely overwhelmed because they’ve been following these generic must-have lists, and they’re second-guessing everything about their own vision for their home.
They’ll say things like, “Well, everyone says we need a mudroom, but it’s just the two of us.” Or “I keep seeing that we need a walk-in pantry, but honestly, we eat out half the time.”
And when I ask them WHY they want these features, they can’t give me a clear answer beyond “I read it was a must-have in some blog.”
Listen, a must-have feature is only a must-have if it actually improves YOUR life.
That wine cellar that looks amazing on Instagram? Totally pointless if you don’t drink wine.
That massive butler’s pantry everyone raves about? Not worth the investment if you rarely entertain.
This is YOUR house, and no one can tell what you *MUST* have in it.
YOU get to decide.
What Makes Something a True Custom Home Must-Have?
So, how do you figure out what YOUR must-haves are?
I tell my clients to think about four things:
1. Does it support your family’s daily routines?
Think about how your family actually lives day-to-day. Do you work from home and need a dedicated office? Do you have young kids who need a designated play area? Are you a grandparent who loves having your grandchildren for overnights? Focus on features that support your actual lifestyle, not your Pinterest dreams.
2. Does it solve a current problem?
Maybe you’re constantly tripping over shoes by the front door so you need a mud room. Maybe you love to entertain, and a full butler’s pantry would make entertaining easier? Features that solve real problems you’re experiencing right now are often worth the investment.
3. Does it align with your long-term needs?
Consider what your life might look like in 10 or 20 years. If you’re planning to age in place, accessible features might be essential. If you hope to host large family gatherings, an open floor plan could be a priority.
4. Does it bring you joy every day?
Maybe it’s a window seat where you love to read, or a coffee bar that makes your morning routine feel special. If something consistently makes you smile when you use it, it’s likely a personal must-have for YOU.
Common “Must-Haves” That Might Not Matter to You
Let me give you some examples of features that appear on every generic must-have list, but might not be a necessity for your family:
Large mudrooms
Everyone thinks you need this, but it only makes sense if you actually are going to use it. If you have kids and all their crap like backpacks and shoes and volleyball bags and coats (I speak from experience), a mudroom is a fantastic feature to have. However, if it’s just you and your spouse and you don’t have a lot of stuff, you don’t need a large mudroom.
Walk-in pantries
They’re beautiful and functional if you cook frequently and buy groceries in bulk. But if you eat out often or prefer fresh ingredients, a smaller pantry with better organization might serve you better. It’s all a personal preference.
Home offices
Consider your actual work situation. If you are working full-time from home, then yes, a home office is a necessity. However, if you only occasionally work from home, a dedicated desk area in another room might be more practical.
Large kitchen island
A large kitchen island looks beautiful, but if you don’t have kids in the house and you rarely entertain, do you really need a large kitchen island? Maybe a small island will work just fine … or even no island.
The bottom line … think about your family’s routines in your house and decide if a ‘must-have’ for others is a true must-have for YOU.
If not, take it off the list.
Nervous about blowing your budget while building? Grab a seat in my FREE on-demand class, ‘The 3 Most Expensive Home Building Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them!)’.
Real Examples of Real Families’ Must-Haves
Let me share some examples of how different families prioritized completely different features:
One family with three young kids knew their must-haves were all about family life: a large mudroom for sports equipment, a playroom visible from the kitchen, and a laundry room on the second floor near the bedrooms. They completely skipped the formal dining room that was on every single must-have list they found.
On the other hand, an empty-nester couple who love to entertain had totally different priorities: a large kitchen island for food prep, a butler’s pantry for party supplies, and a first-floor guest suite for visiting family. No playroom needed.
And a young couple who both work from home focused on dedicated office spaces and soundproofing between rooms. Entertainment spaces and mud room storage weren’t important to them at all.
Each family’s list was completely different, and that’s exactly how it should be. There are no right and wrong answers when it comes to YOUR family’s custom home must-haves.
Choose Function Over Pinterest Dreams
Here’s my biggest piece of advice: when you’re determining your must-haves, prioritize function over trendy or Pinterest dreams.
It’s tempting to focus on features that look impressive, but the smartest approach is to think about what will actually improve your family’s daily life.
Before you add anything to your list, ask yourself: “Will this feature still matter to me in five years?”
If the answer is yes, it belongs on your list.
If you’re not sure, it probably doesn’t … so put it on a ‘maybe’ list.
Your Home, Your Must-Haves!
When you’re building a custom home, you have this amazing opportunity to create a space that’s perfectly tailored to YOUR family’s needs. Don’t waste that opportunity by following someone else’s definition of home happiness.
Yes, it’s definitely helpful to read about different features and get ideas from other homes, but use those generic lists as inspiration to get your wheels turning.
Ultimately, your must-have list should be based on one thing: what will make YOUR family’s life better.
The most successful custom home builds I’ve seen are from families who started with their own lifestyle and needs, not what others told them they needed. They ended up with homes that might not look like magazine covers, but they work perfectly for the people who live in them.
And isn’t that what a custom home should be? A space that’s custom-built for you?
Next Steps
So go ahead and grab a piece of paper or open up a fresh Google Doc and start creating your own list of must-haves. Think about your daily routines, your frustrations with your current home, and what would genuinely make your life easier or more joyful.
And here’s the thing: knowing what features you want is just one piece of the puzzle. The best time to prevent ALL the costly regrets (including following others’ lists of must-haves) is before you break ground.
I’ve got a free on-demand class that breaks down the three most expensive home building mistakes and exactly how to avoid them. This class will help you approach your entire home build experience with way more confidence and clarity.
Alright, that’s it for today’s episode! Remember, there are no universal must-haves when building a custom home … the only must-haves you should put on your list are what matter most to YOU and your family.
