Hey there! Welcome back to the Before You Build podcast. I’m Carrie, and today, in episode 96, I want to talk about something that’s going to be SO helpful for your custom home planning – and it’s something you can do the next time you host people at your house OR visit someone else’s home.
(and this is timely because next week happens to be Thanksgiving!)
Whether you’re about to host Thanksgiving, you just had family visit for the weekend, or you’re thinking about that holiday party you want to throw—anytime you have a houseful of people, you learn SO much about what works and what doesn’t in a home.
And if you’re planning to build, this is free research happening right in front of you.
Here’s the thing … the homes that people truly love living in are designed around real life, and that includes those moments when you have a houseful of people.
If you’re building for the first time and wondering how to plan a custom home build that actually supports your lifestyle, I have a simple assignment for you: pay attention the next time you host a gathering or visit someone else’s home.
By the end of this episode, you’re going to have a whole new lens to look through the next time you gather with people.
Listen to this episode or read the transcript below.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
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Below is the transcript for this episode:
Hey there! Welcome back to the Before You Build podcast. I’m Carrie, and today, in episode 96, I want to talk about something that’s going to be SO helpful for your custom home planning – and it’s something you can do the next time you host people at your house OR visit someone else’s home.
(and this is timely because next week happens to be Thanksgiving!)
Whether you’re about to host Thanksgiving, you just had family visit for the weekend, or you’re thinking about that holiday party you want to throw—anytime you have a houseful of people, you learn SO much about what works and what doesn’t in a home.
And if you’re planning to build, this is free research happening right in front of you.
Here’s the thing … the homes that people truly love living in are designed around real life, and that includes those moments when you have a houseful of people.
If you’re building for the first time and wondering how to plan a custom home build that actually supports your lifestyle, I have a simple assignment for you: pay attention the next time you host a gathering or visit someone else’s home.
By the end of this episode, you’re going to have a whole new lens to look through the next time you gather with people.
Why Hosting Reveals Your True Custom Home Design Needs
So let me paint a picture. You’re hosting a gathering. Maybe it’s a holiday, maybe it’s a birthday party, maybe it’s just family coming to visit. People start to arrive, and suddenly you’re noticing things you don’t usually think about on a regular Tuesday:
- Your kitchen feels cramped with more than two people in it or you don’t have enough counter space for potluck dishes
- There’s nowhere for coats and bags except piled on your bed
- The kids have taken over the living room, leaving adults with nowhere to sit
- You’re constantly running between the kitchen and dining room because they aren’t connected
- Everyone congregates in the kitchen, but there’s not enought room for everyone to sit and chat while you cook
Does this sound familiar?
Or maybe you’re at someone else’s house and you’re noticing things like: wow, their open kitchen to the family room is amazing for gatherings. Or that massive island is perfect for setting out appetizers. Or their mudroom is a lifesaver for all these coats and shoes.
These observations are GOLD for your custom home planning.
Whether it’s a positive or negative observation, it’s revealing critical information about what you actually need when building your custom home. This is free research happening right in front of you, and most people completely miss it.
How to Use Hosting as Research for Planning a Custom Home
So here’s what I want you to do the next time you’re hosting OR attending a gathering. I want you to become a bit of a detective. Take mental notes (or actual notes on your phone) about what’s working and what drives you crazy.
This can be at your house or someone else’s house.
If You’re Hosting: Custom Home Planning Questions to Ask Yourself
If you’re hosting, here are some custom home planning questions to ask yourself (and they’re all in the show notes for this episode).
Traffic Flow & Layout
First, where do people naturally gather? And is that space actually working, or is it too crowded?
People are going to congregate somewhere. Usually, it’s the kitchen, so ask yourself if your kitchen is set up to handle this, or are you constantly saying “excuse me, can you move?” while you’re trying to get the turkey out of the oven?
Is your current kitchen layout supporting you or stressing you out?
Do you have enough counter space for all the serving dishes?
Is there a good spot for drinks so people aren’t constantly opening the fridge while you’re trying to cook … or worse, constantly in your way?
Functional Spaces
Where do the kids end up? Is that intentional, or is it just where they got shuffled to because there’s nowhere else? And more importantly, can the adults still have conversations without the kids taking over the entire main living space?
Do you wish you had a mudroom or a coat closet closer to the entry?
Is your powder room close enough, but not so close that guests don’t have privacy?
The Bottom Line
And here’s the big one: after everyone leaves and you’re able to sit down and relax, think about what’s the ONE thing you wish your house had? Make sure to write this down and include it when you design your custom home.
If You’re Visiting: What to Observe in Other Homes
If you’re visiting someone else’s house, be a detective about what’s working in their space:
- What do you love about their floor plan or layout? Where does everyone end up hanging out, and does it seem to work well?
- What makes hosting look easy for them … is it the flow of their space, the size of their kitchen, the way rooms connect?
- What would you do differently in your own dream home planning based on what you’re seeing in their home?
- Is there something about their layout that makes you think, “we definitely need that”?
- And, be sure to watch out for anything that doesn’t seem to flow or work well
Take mental notes, and when you get home, make a little note of observations on your phone.
This is research for your future home, and it’s completely free.
Custom Home Design Tips: Translating Observations Into Your Floor Plan
Now, here’s why this matters so much for your custom home planning:
When you’re in the dreaming and planning stages (which is where you probably are if you’re listening to this podcast), it’s really easy to get caught up in the Pinterest-perfect images and the trending design features you see on Instagram.
I love a beautiful home … but I also love a functional home. And the homes that people love LIVING in? The ones where they’re still happy five or ten years later … those homes are designed around real life. Around how you actually use your space. Around those moments when 20 people show up and you need your home to WORK.
Holiday hosting (or really any kind of gathering throughout the year) is one of those real-life stress tests that shows you what really matters in your future home.
Common Realizations
Your hosting observations reveal real lifestyle needs that you should include in your custom home planning.
Things like …
- “We NEED an open kitchen to the family room so I’m not isolated while cooking”
- “A separate beverage station would be a game-changer
- “We need a proper mudroom … this coat situation is ridiculous every single time we have people over”
- “Our dining area needs to be closer to the kitchen”
- “We need a separate space where kids can be loud without disrupting adults or completely taking over the main living area”
- “A powder room near the main living area but still private from the main living area”
These aren’t random design choices that you’re pulling out of thin air. These are lifestyle needs that show up in real time when you’re actually using your home the way you want to live.
Want help getting clear on YOUR floor plan needs? Download my free Floor Plan Creation Questionnaire to identify what matters most for YOUR family and lifestyle!
Custom Home Mistakes to Avoid: Don’t Skip the Planning Phase
This is how you avoid custom home mistakes.
You do research and you PLAN!
It starts with getting clear—crystal clear—on exactly what you need. And that includes these hosting observations. It includes understanding how you actually use your space, not just how you think you’ll use it or how Instagram or Pinterest tells you to.
Because here’s what I see a lot, and it always turns into a big problem … a lot of people skip the planning phase. They get excited about building, they jump right in with their builder, and they start making decisions as things come up. They think “we’ll figure it out as we go” or “our builder will guide us” or “we’ll trust our gut.”
And then a year later, they’re hosting their first holiday gathering in their brand new custom home—the home they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars building—and they’re thinking about all of the things they wish they had done differently.
- “Wait, why didn’t we put a beverage station here?”
- “Why is my kitchen still too small?”
- “Why can’t more than two people fit in this space?”
And that’s heartbreaking because it is completely preventable with proper custom home planning on the front end.
How to Plan a Custom Home Build That Actually Works for Your Life
So how do you plan a custom home that looks great AND actually works for your life?
It all comes down to understanding how you actually use your home.
This is exactly the kind of clarity work we do inside BEFORE YOU BUILD℠.
I walk you through getting CRYSTAL CLEAR on how you actually live.
Not just how to have a Pinterest-perfect home or how others tell you how you *should* live, but how YOUR family actually lives.
What YOU actually need based on your real lifestyle, your real family dynamics, and how you really live in your home.
And then I help you translate that extreme clarity into a custom home floor plan that actually works for YOUR family.
We dive deep into:
- Hosting zones and entertaining spaces
- Traffic flow patterns—where people naturally move through your home
- Where people naturally gather in your home and how to design for that
- How to design for the way YOU live
We help you think through all of these real-life scenarios before you ever break ground.
Because here’s the truth: gatherings might only happen occasionally. You might only host Thanksgiving once a year. But the lessons from hosting? The insights about what you need? Those should inform your dream home planning forever.
Believe me … you do NOT want to move into your brand-new home a year or so from now and wish you had planned better.
You want to look around your beautiful custom and smile and think, “this is exactly what we needed for how our family lives, and I’m so glad we thought this through.”
Your Custom Home Planning Action Steps
So here’s your simple assignment: observe, take notes, and get clear on what you really need in your dream home.
- Use your next gathering or your next visit to someone else’s home as free research! Pay attention. Observe what works and what doesn’t work. Think about what features you want in your future home and how you’ll design your home differently.
- Make mental notes and then document your observations … whether that’s a simple note on your phone or create a Google doc
- Start building your “must-have” list based on these real-life experiences, not just what looks pretty on Instagram or Pinterest.
These hosting or gathering insights are gold when it comes to planning your future custom home.
They’ll help you make decisions about:
- Kitchen size and layout
- Open concept vs. defined spaces
- Mudroom and entry design
- Powder room placement
- Kid zones vs. adult spaces
- Entertaining and gathering areas
- And so much more!
PLANNING IS CRUCIAL
Here’s what I know after working with hundreds of couples building a custom home …
The people who take the time to plan properly on the front end are the ones who break ground with confidence, and they’re the ones who move into their homes, and truly love every decision they made.
The people who skip the planning and just wing it are the ones reaching out to me a year later frantic, over budget, hating their home, and saying, “I wish I had found you sooner.”
I do NOT want that to be YOUR story!
Do this simple research next time you’re hosting a gathering or you’re attending a gathering at someone else’s house. Simply notice what does and does not work for real life.
This kind of real-life research is going to help you design your dream home in ways that scrolling Pinterest or Instagram never could.
And if you want more guidance on creating the perfect floor plan for your family, download my free Floor Plan Creation Questionnaire and start getting crystal clear on what matters most for YOUR family and YOUR lifestyle!
