If you’re trying to figure out how to make decisions when building a house, you’ve probably googled some version of “mistakes to avoid before building a house.”

(We all have!)

Building a home is a huge investment, and you want to know what other people regret so you can avoid making the same mistakes.

So you search things like:

What do people regret after building a house?

What do homeowners wish they’d done differently during their build?

What should I include in my new home?

And, believe me, there’s certainly no shortage of advice.

People will tell you to add more outlets, make the pantry bigger, include enough storage, think carefully about furniture placement, add more windows, avoid certain floor plan mistakes, and skip upgrades that aren’t worth the money.

And honestly, some of that advice can be incredibly helpful. 

(I’ve shared plenty of practical advice myself in my post about mistakes to avoid when building a home.) 

But here’s where it gets tricky …

Everyone has a different opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do, so it can be very confusing to know who you should even listen to.

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The Most Important Question Before Building a House

After years of helping people prepare to build, I’ve realized that the MOST important person to listen to is YOURSELF!

The right decision for someone else’s home may be completely wrong for yours, and the wrong decision for someone else’s home might be the right decision for yours.

The most important question to ask yourself is … How does MY FAMILY actually want to live in our home?

Because when it comes to making decisions for your future home, the answer isn’t to simply copy what worked—or didn’t work—for someone else.

It’s knowing what matters most to YOUR family.

What Should I Think About Before Building a House?

So, what should you think about before building a house?

You should think about what matters most to YOU and how YOUR family actually lives.

And, believe me, I know this is one of the hardest things about building.

You just want someone to give you all the answers.

You want someone to tell you:

• *this* is what you’ll regret
• *these* upgrades are worth the money
• *this* is how big your pantry should be
• *this* is where you should splurge and where you should save

And while you can absolutely read a million opinions online, you won’t find one answer that applies to every single homeowner because we’re not all creating the same home.

Every family has a different list of what matters most to THEM.

And the ONLY opinion that actually matters is YOURS. 🙌

Our Intentional Staircase Design

When my husband and I were designing our custom floor plan, our daughters were young, and we knew they would occasionally come into our bedroom in the middle of the night. 

(turned out it was every night for a long time)

We wanted our primary bedroom on the first floor and their bedrooms on the second floor.

So we intentionally designed our floor plan to have the staircase right by our bedroom.

Was that where the staircase needed to go?

No.

Was that where someone else would say the stairs should go?

No.

Would a list of ‘things you shouldn’t forget when building a house’ have told me to put it there?

Probably not.

But it made sense for the way OUR family would live in OUR house.

And for us, that made it the right decision.

What Will I Regret After Building?

I can’t tell you exactly what you’ll regret, but I can tell you this: the best prevention for home-build regrets is thinking deeply about how your family will live in your future house.

One of my recent clients made a family-based change to their kitchen floor plan before they broke ground (and just before they finalized their custom floor plan).

Their family has a dog, and when they thought about actually living in their future home, they knew they would be letting their dog out into the backyard multiple times throughout the day.

So they decided to add an exterior door from their kitchen directly to the backyard.

This isn’t the kind of feature that would make a ‘Top 20 Things You MUST Put in Your Custom Home’ list.

But think about how many times they’ll use that door over the years.

This is one of this family’s favorite things about their floor plan because it makes THEIR daily life easier.

Regrets Come From Not Understanding Your Family’s Needs

We tend to think home-building regrets come from choosing the wrong finishes.

However, sometimes they come from not thinking about the little things that will affect the way you live EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

A dream home isn’t created by checking every box on someone else’s must-have list. 

It’s created by making intentional decisions for YOUR FAMILY!

Do I Really Need Every Custom Home “Must-Have”? (NO!)

Just because something is considered a custom home must-have doesn’t mean it’s a must-have for YOU.

My husband and I went against the ‘you must have a tub in the primary bathroom’ advice because it was NOT a must-have for us.

We don’t take baths, so we didn’t want to spend money on something we weren’t going to use simply because a primary bathroom is supposed to have one.

We did, however, think about resale and intentionally left enough space in the bathroom for a future owner to add a freestanding tub if they want one.

But for us, spending money on a bathtub we knew we wouldn’t use made absolutely no sense.

This is why I always encourage my clients to think about where they personally want to splurge and save when building a house rather than relying on someone else’s list of what’s worth the money. 

You are the Expert on Your Family!

Here’s something to keep in mind …

Your builder can bring tremendous expertise to your project.

So can your architect and your interior designer.

But YOU are the expert on YOUR family.

YOU are the one who knows …

• How you spend your mornings
• Where everyone naturally gathers
• How you entertain
• What drives you crazy about your current house
• What you don’t care about at all
• What would make everyday life easier
• What you value enough to spend more money on—and what you’d happily skip

These things matter.

Because a home isn’t just a collection of rooms, finishes, and features.

It’s where you’re going to live YOUR actual life and make family memories.

And no amount of googling, Pinterest scrolling, or advice from others can tell you what will work best for YOUR family.

Build the Right Home for YOUR Family

When you know what matters most to YOUR family, you have a clear filter that makes making decisions for YOUR home SO. MUCH. EASIER.

You’re no longer asking:

What does everyone else do?

What am I supposed to choose?

What if I make the wrong decision?

Instead, you can look at a decision through the lens of your own family, lifestyle, priorities, and budget.

Because there is no universally perfect floor plan.

There isn’t one list of must-have features.

There isn’t one right place to spend your money.

And there isn’t a version of a dream home that works for every single family.

The best home isn’t the one that has everything.

It’s the one that has what matters most to YOU.

Ready to Get Clear on What Matters Most?

If you’re still in the dreaming or early planning stage of your home build, this is exactly the time to figure out what matters most to YOU—before you’re faced with hundreds of decisions about where to spend, where to save, and what your home really needs.

That’s exactly why I created the SPLURGE + SAVE PLANNER℠.

It will help you identify YOUR priorities for your future home so you can make intentional decisions based on what matters to YOUR family—not what someone else tells you your dream home should have. 🙂

If you’re in the early planning stages and you’re thinking, “Okay, but where DO I start?” my FREE Custom Home Build Start Guide walks you through the four foundational steps I recommend taking before you build.