The builder you choose can make or break your entire home-building experience—which is why knowing the RIGHT questions to ask home builders before hiring is SO critical.
Most people think asking about price per square foot and looking at pretty completed project photos will help them choose.
Those are obviously important, BUT those things won’t actually tell you if a builder is right for YOUR project.
Here’s the thing … the wrong builder can turn your dream home into a nightmare.
I’ve helped over 500 families navigate the builder selection process, and I’ve seen what happens when people ask the wrong questions or simply choose the builder with the lowest bid.
They end up frustrated, over budget, and full of regrets. 😳
So today, I’m sharing three critical questions to ask home builders that will help you identify the right builder for YOUR project.
These aren’t the typical questions you’ll find online—these are the ones that reveal whether a builder is truly the right fit for you and will save you time, stress, and thousands of dollars.
Listen to this episode or read the transcript below.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
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Episode Transcript:
Welcome back to the Before You Build Podcast. I’m your host, Carrie Barker (aka Caroline On Design), and today in episode 99, we’re talking about asking the RIGHT questions when interviewing potential builders.
Before You Start Interviewing Builders
Before you can ask the right questions, you need a solid list of builders to interview.
Ask friends and family who’ve recently built for recommendations, check online reviews, visit local home shows, and browse builders’ websites and social media.
Once you have your list, commit to interviewing ALL of them.
I know it feels like a lot, but this is one area where you don’t want to cut corners.
Ask every builder the same questions and write down their answers. This creates a clear comparison and helps you spot red flags.
Plus, meeting each builder face-to-face gives you a gut feeling about what it would be like to work with them for the next 6-12 months.
A good builder will be patient, thorough, and genuinely interested in answering your questions.
They won’t rush you or make you feel silly for asking. And if they do … consider that a red flag!
3 Critical Questions to Ask Home Builders
So what should you actually ask? Let’s dive into the three critical questions.
Question 1: What’s Your Communication Style During a Build?
This question matters more than you might think. If you need weekly updates and your builder only checks in when there’s a problem, you’re going to be stressed for the entire build.
Some builders are very hands-on—they’ll text you photos, send regular updates, and schedule weekly check-ins.
Others are more hands-off and expect you to reach out when you have questions.
Neither approach is wrong. But you absolutely need to know which style works for YOU.
Here’s what to ask specifically:
- How often will we communicate during the build?
- What’s your preferred method of communication—text, email, phone calls, or in-person meetings?
- What kind of updates can I expect, and how frequently?
- How quickly do you typically respond to questions or concerns?
Pay attention to how they answer. Do they seem annoyed? Give vague answers? Or do they clearly explain their process and seem genuinely interested in making sure it works for you?
Their answer (and how they deliver it) will tell you everything you need to know about working with them.
Now let’s talk about the question that protects your wallet.
Question 2: Can You Walk Me Through How You Handle Budget Management and Change Orders?
This question is HUGE. Change orders are where budgets explode.
A change order happens anytime you modify something from the original plan—upgrading countertops, moving a window, adding square footage.
If your builder doesn’t have a clear, transparent system for managing them, you could end up thousands (or tens of thousands) of dollars over budget.
A good builder will have a straightforward process.
They’ll tell you upfront:
- How they price change orders
- How they communicate about them before work begins
- How they help you understand the financial impact before you commit
- Whether there’s a change order tracking system
- How often they provide budget updates
If a builder gets vague, defensive, or dismissive about this question, run. Seriously. This is a massive red flag.
You want someone who’s completely transparent about money from day one—someone who sees you as a partner in managing the budget, not someone to keep in the dark until bills start arriving.
Which brings us to the question most people are too afraid to ask.
Question 3: What Happens If We Disagree About Something During the Build?
I know this might feel awkward to ask, but it’s one of the most important questions. At some point during your build, you probably WILL disagree about something.
A design choice that doesn’t match your vision. A timeline delay. A budget concern.
You need to know how your builder handles conflict before you’re in the middle of it.
A great builder will have a clear, mature process for resolving disagreements.
They’ll explain:
- How they approach conflicts
- Who the main point of contact is when issues arise
- What steps they take to find solutions
- Whether they’re willing to bring in third parties if needed
- How they’ve handled past disagreements with clients
Listen carefully to their answer. Do they seem uncomfortable? Get defensive? Or do they speak confidently about their conflict resolution process?
You want a builder who views disagreements as a normal part of the process (because it is!) and has a professional system for working through them together.
The Most Important Step when Vetting Custom Home Builders
Okay, I gave you three critical questions—but there’s one more thing you absolutely must do during the builder selection process.
Ask for references from recent clients.
A reputable builder will have a solid list of happy clients who are eager to recommend them. And you need to actually contact those references—not just collect the names and move on.
When you call or email references, ask about:
- Their overall experience working with the builder
- How the builder handled communication
- Whether they stayed on budget and on schedule
- How issues or problems were addressed
- The quality of the finished home
- Whether they’d hire this builder again
- What they wish they’d known before starting
If a builder hesitates to provide references or only offers one or two names, that’s a warning sign. A builder with nothing to hide should easily provide 3-5 recent clients you can contact.
How to Choose the Right Builder
Once you’ve interviewed all your potential builders, it’s time to compare.
Pull out your notes and look at their answers side by side.
The right builder will have:
- Clear, confident answers—not vague or defensive responses
- A communication style that matches your needs
- A transparent budget management process
- A mature, professional approach to conflict resolution
- Strong references with specific positive feedback
But here’s the thing—data isn’t everything.
If a builder checks all the boxes but something feels off, listen to that. It’s your gut speaking.
TRUST YOUR GUT.
You’re going to be working with this person for 6-12 months on the biggest investment of your life.
Your gut feeling matters.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
I know how overwhelming this process feels.
Christine felt the same way before she joined BEFORE YOU BUILD℠.
But after going through the program, she told me:
“We had so much confidence interviewing our top three builder choices using your questions. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
I want this level of confidence for YOU, too.
The three questions I shared today will certainly help you feel more confident evaluating builders and making a smart choice.
And if you want to dive even deeper, the BYB BUILDER AUDIT℠ system inside BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ gives you dozens more questions, every red flag to watch for, and the exact framework that’s helped over 500 families choose their builder with total confidence.
Building your dream home starts with choosing the right builder. 🙌
Make sure to choose the RIGHT one by asking the RIGHT questions.
Ready to confidently build a house that you absolutely LOVE … without blowing your budget? Doors to BEFORE YOU BUILD℠ open February 2nd! JOIN THE WAITLIST NOW!
